Belladonna vs. Calhoun (Environmental Threat)

 Belladonna vs. Calhoun (2021 redux) 



Belladonna crouched beside the contaminated lake and cursed under her breath. 

“Fucking human scum… detestable beings… the lot of them… I never get to fight anyone during these purifying missions.”

She stuck out her tongue and raised her middle fingers to the sky before she snarled and dipped her fingers in the water. From her fingertip a thick sudsy  purple moss began to creep over the lake. It moved over the lake ingesting any and all unnatural products in and around the water. She twisted her finger and the moss began to swirl in the center of the lake creating a whirlpool. As the suds swirled the water began to clear and the plant life returned in abundance. Satisfied with her work she smiled and pulled her finger from the water. The moss began to glow and slowly dissipated into the water. 

Belladonna could feel the shrubbery, trees, and flowers curious energies behind her. She turned and smiled, “It’s okay, the waters clean you may all have a-“

A rush of wind caused her to cover her mouth as dirt soared past her. Roots of all shapes and sizes extended from the greenery to the edge of the lake and soaked in all the nutrients. Belladonna couldn’t help but laugh as the plants eagerly soaked up the water.

She caressed the roots, her eyes started to glow and she instantly boosted all the plant life. The vegetation rejoiced as Belladonna’s gift moved through the roots. As she basked in their reverence for her a foul stench lingered across the lake and invaded her senses. She started to choke and growled, “What died?”


***


Across the lake an old man slept beneath a tree. His silver hair was braided into a neat ponytail that draped over his shoulder. His mustache was neatly and purposely curled at the corner of his mouth. He snored softly in his cowboy boots and denim jacket. Beside him was a slender sword stabbed into the ground with a cowboy hat placed over the hilt. As the lake changed and Belladonna’s boost moved through the tree he was under, Calhoun was bucked off the trunk. The roots gathered at the lake moved and he landed face first in the soft soil beside the newly cleaned lake. 

The crisp clear water smelled sweet and was intoxicating to Calhoun. He hadn’t had clean water in over a week. He dunked his face in the water and sighed as he came up for a breath of fresh air. He rolled onto his back, wiped his face with his sleeve and noticed the lusciousness of the greenery. 

“Wow, I think I’ve found Eden.”

He closed his eyes and allowed himself to drift to sleep again when a thought crossed his mind, ‘It sure would be nice to bathe again.’

Just as the thought popped into his head Calhoun leapt to his feet in one flawless motion. He started to unbutton his shirt and wrestled it off. He went for his belt but remembered his boots. He tried to kick them off but to no avail, he was forced to plop down and pull them off. When he freed his feet, the hairs in his nose started to burn and he nearly gagged. 

“Ooh, that’s terrible.”

He wiggled his toes which gave off a lime green aura and he cringed. Before he could stand up a black lance was hurling towards him from across the lake. He fell prone just as the spinning lance soared over his head. He rolled on the bank and made a beeline for his sword and hat which were still beneath the tree. His foul feet left glowing footprints in his wake. Belladonna was far behind her lance as she was carried over the water on a Lilly pad. Her upper lip twitched angrily and her nostrils flared as she marched after  Calhoun’s foot prints. She held out her arm and the black lance returned to her grip, it was nearly twice her size but she twirled it as if it were a pen. 

“On guard!” Calhoun roared as he blitzed Belladonna with his hat on and rapier unsheathed. He jabbed his sword at her with blinding speed but she managed to match him blow for blow. The tip of her lance and his rapier kissed thousands of times as the two aimed for each other’s vitals. Calhoun laughed 

Belladonna grew tired of the game and her eyes started to glow. The tree Calhoun was under sprung to life and whacked him with its branches, knocking him to the ground with a deft blow. 

“Hmph,” Belladonna said as she tilted her head and cracked her neck, “You’re tougher than you look old man.”

Calhoun pushed off the ground and looked Belladonna up and down. He started to shake his head, he brushed himself off and said, “Yeah, you look tough too.”

The wind blew and the scent of Calhoun’s feet lingered towards Belladonna and she started to turn a sickly shade of green. Calhoun wiggled his toes and cackled.

“I was just gonna wash’em up before you attacked me.”

“Not in the lake,” Belladonna said while pinching her nose, “Please I just decontaminated it.”

Calhoun started to laugh, “Then what do you sugg-“ he was cut off by the same sudsy moss that crept across the lake. It wrapped around his feet and he started to giggle, “Ah, now that feels good.”


Belladonna twisted her face in disgust and cringed, “My Moss only eats bacteria and other nasties created by it.”


The moss crept over the spaces where Calhoun had walked barefoot cleaning the areas he had been. It climbed his legs an he wiggled as it tickled him. After a few hours the moss had finally receded from Calhoun’s body and he almost glowed. Belladonna smiled and said, “Now I can fight you properly. You’re all clean and no longer a risk to the environment.”

Calhoun’s silver hair was released from his braid and fell down his back in luscious waves. His mustache shined like metal and his beard glistened, he caressed his chin and his eyes widened.


“This gift of cleanliness, you have no idea how much I wish to thank you,” he looked around and could no longer find his boots. His brow furrowed and he looked around frantically, “Where are they?”


Belladonna’s eyebrow raised, “Where what?”

“My boots?”

Belladonna shrugged and rolled her eyes, however in a flash he was beside her with his rapier raised to her throat, “Don’t toy with me.”

Belladonna nearly swooned, she pushed her neck against the pointed edge until it drew blood, “If I don’t tell you… will you fight me for real?”

Calhoun swallowed, the look in the woman’s eyes before him was far from fear it was full of delight and excitement. He instinctively put space between them and could feel a demonic aura emanating from the woman. 

“Where are my boots damnit?”

Belladonna disappeared and reappeared beside him, “I’m not tellinnnngggg yoooouuu.”

She didn’t threaten him, she kicked him with such force her leg snapped like a twig. He was sent flying and hit the top of the lake and started to skip across it like a stone. He slammed into a tree on the other side and Belladonna’s maniacal laughter filled the air. It sounded as if she was all around him. He managed to raise his sword just in time to fend against her attack. 


Belladonna started to spin as a result of her follow through. Her leg turned to wood and she snapped it off. The stump started to glow green and her leg reformed. She looked over her shoulder at a small mound of moss and dashed across the lake. Calhoun didn’t have another chance to speak as he was forced to defend himself against her onslaught of attacks. With every strike she broke a bone and mended it instantly. Calhoun was growing aggravated by the woman’s attacks and finally unleashed a sword technique that forced her to dodge and reset. A crevice was formed between them and Belladonna started to laugh, “Yay, you’re finally getting serious. I’ll tell you where your boots are if you can keep me entertained for a little while longer. Make this mission worth it gramps.”

Calhoun couldn’t believe she evaded one of his strongest attacks and was excited to see it. He was stunned by her whimsical but deadly style of combat and no matter how many times he tried to guess her next move she would subvert his expectations. He cursed under his breath, closed his eyes and sighed, “Fine! I’m not going to apologize for your death.”

Belladonna started to clap gleefully. He took another deep breath and exhaled slowly. His entire presence changed and Belladonna’s eyes grew wide. She could see his blue aura rising around him. 

“Yes! Yes! Yessss!”

Belladonna cheered him on and started to bounce on her toes anticipating his attack. She bit her lip as she smiled and dashed towards him. When she moved Calhoun noticed something across the lake and in one dexterous motion he evaded her attack and made a beeline. Belladonna plunged her lance into the ground where Calhoun was just standing. 

Prior to evading Belladonna’s attack, tears were brought to his eyes as he witness the moss releasing his boots. They were pristine and polished and he couldn’t wait to put his feet in them. He moved over the lake with a nimbleness only found in the wild. He made it to his boots and snatched them up into a tight embrace. 

The ground beneath him started to quiver and Belladonna’s black lance fired from the ground and was about to slam into Calhoun when a cloud formed in front of it and started to absorb her attack. 


“No! Not yet!” Belladonna roared on the other side of the lake, “Things were just getting good…” a cloud formed at her feet and she started to disappear from the ground up, “Hey old man! What’s your name?”


“Calhoun!”

“I’m Belladonna! Fight me again sometime!” She smiled and waved happily as the cloud consumed her and popped out of existence. 

Calhoun looked at his boots and said, “Sure thing kid. I gotta thank you for the boots at some point.”

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